I Don't Regret a Thing
by ducky72
Summary: Abby hasn't come to work one morning and she doesn't answer her phone either. When Gibbs finds her, flashbacks claim his mind, leading to an unexpected insight...
1. Where is Abby?

_**Summary:**__ Abby hasn´t come to work one morning and she doesn´t answer her phone either._

_**A/N:**__ This came to me yesterday and originally was planned quite different from what it seems to turn out like. Within an hour it developed its own dynamics. So here it is – the first chapter at least. _

_**Spoiler:**__ None_

_**Rating**__ having a look upon my notes, this probably has to be changed_

_**Disclaimer:**__ None of the characters is mine. They nevertheless haven´t rejected my invitation to this story._

_**-xxx**__**-**_

_**I Don´t Regret a Thing**_

_**-xxx**__**-**_

**1. Where´s Abby?**

Caf-Pow in hand, Gibbs enters the squad room in the morning, barking.

"DiNozzo!"

Tony jumps in his seat. Gibbs seems to be in a very bad mood today.

"Yes, boss?" Tony shoots, waiting for a tirade to pelt down on him, whatever might have caused this.

"Where´s Abby?" Gibbs wants to know, coming to a halt right in front of Tony´s desk.

"She´s not in her lab?" Tony asks back.

Gibbs glares at Tony with narrowed eyes as he bends down, placing the container of Caf-Pow at Tony´s desk and his hands get a firm grip on the edge of the table.

"Tony?" he sounds angry. "_**That**_, I have just found out by myself. Would I else have asked you?"

"No, boss," Tony stammers, while Gibbs keeps staring at him.

"Okay," Gibbs tries again, emphasizing each word dangerously, "Where ... is ... Abby?"

"Don´t know, Gibbs. Where is she?" Tony is not in fine form today and too late he realizes how stupid a question this was. He winces and ducks his head in anticipation of a slap to his head.

Just then, McGee enters the office and in a cheerful mood wants to know, "Morning. Where´s Abby?" as he has been down to her lab first, recognizing her computers and equipments are turned off.

Gibbs lets out a frustrated grunt as his hand palmdown slams down on the table vigorously. He swirls around and rushes past McGee towards the elevator.

McGee looks after him, second-guessing whether to say something or not, but he decides to instead throw a questioning look at Tony.

"Thanks, Probie," Tony sighs, only adding to McGee´s astonishment. "You just saved me from one of his head-slaps."

The both of them nevertheless are concerned and hope to soon hear from Gibbs or Abby.

_**-x**__**-**_

The doors of the elevator haven´t even closed completely when Gibbs dials Abby's cell phone number. She seems to have turned her cell off. Next, he tries her phone at home for the first time. She doesn´t answer it.

Gibbs rushes towards the parking lot and on reaching his car he has dialed her number a good dozen times.

He is worried.

Abby always has her cell on when she is not at home, so something must have happened.

Abby hasn´t felt well these past days. She was paler than usual and a bit shaky. Circulatory problems, she had told him upon his concerned look. He had made her promise to go see a doctor if that wasn´t changing soon. So was she at a doctor´s? But which one? No, she would not have turned her cell off then.

The only place where to start he can think of, is her place, and – right enough – her car is parked right in front of it.

Gibbs jumps out of his car and runs up the stairs to Abby´s apartment. The door is not locked and he enters, calling out her name worriedly.

"Abby?"

No answer.

"Abs?" he tries again, starting to cross the corridor.

"Ab...," he falls silent as he passes the kitchen.

Abby is sitting at the kitchen table, back towards the door, her head propped up with her elbows resting on the table. Her loose hair is tousled.

What had happened? How long has she been sitting here? Why hasn´t she reacted when he had called her name? And why hasn´t she answered the phone?

As to the last question, he redials her number for the umpteenth time. Maybe her phone doesn´t work? It of course goes off immediately and he can see Abby flinch on the sound.

Something must have happened, that much is sure. She doesn´t move, doesn´t turn around although she has to clearly be aware of his presence.

Gibbs approaches her, puts his hands on her shoulders and places a kiss on the top of her head.

"What´s wrong, Abs?" he asks quietly.

She still doesn´t answer.

Gibbs recognizes she stares at something that is lying right in front of her on the table. It is a small longish cardboard box and he has to squint to be able to read what it says.

His eyes widen as he becomes aware of what this is. He reaches out to pick up the box, stepping beside her and placing his right hand on her left shoulder. Abby´s eyes are still glued to the spot where the box had been lying.

"Abs?" Gibbs asks in a low and soft voice. "Did you...?" Unsure about what to say, his voice trails off.

Abby weakly shakes her head.

Gibbs squeezes her shoulder and starts to gently massage it.

"I´m scared, Gibbs."

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Curious?_


	2. In The Storm

_**A/N:**__ Sorry, but I still do not succeed in fixing the apostrophe-problem in title and summery. _

_**A/N:** So it wasn´t __**that**__ difficult to work out what´s in the cardboard box, was it? Now let´s have a little flashback..._

_**-xxx**__**-**_

**2.**** In The Storm**

Gibbs continues to rub Abby´s shoulder soothingly. He completely is at a loss of how to handle a situation like this. None of his ex-wives or ex-lovers had ever done a pregnancy test. At least not that he had been aware of it. They had all done that hormone-thing. Pill. Injection-something. Whatever. Nowadays, contraception is a pretty reliable thing. Relatively speaking. And Abby -- as far as he knows -- is on the pill...

_**-**__**xxxxxxx-**_

_It had been raining for many days. Everyone wanted to be __at some place dry as fast as possible and if it wasn´t necessary one would not spend any time outside in the nasty weather. Sometimes people had to. At least, if they had to go to work. Other than this, streets were quiet these days._

_One of these days happened to be very nasty, especially to Abby. She had left work late in the evening and was looking forward to a weekend off. She lived on the outskirts of town, at the back of a rather large cemetery. To reach her apartment, she had to take a very deserted road that led to the back of the graveyard and was only used by local residents. There were not many of them. Who the hell wanted to live near a graveyard? Not to forget, a rather large one!_

_In that very road Abby´s car decided to get stuck in a pothole that was full of mud._

"_Great! All good things come in threes ... or more than threes, I start to believe," Abby said sarcastically._

_Abby swore. Although having __had an umbrella she had been soaked completely on her way from the lab to her car because of the intensifying storm. Having arrived at her car she had noticed that she had forgotten her backpack in her lab. She hadn´t returned because she had her car keys in her coat pocket and that was sufficient. On her drive home she had to find out that the heating wasn´t working._

_So now Abby was soaked and shivering and most likely there wasn´t the slightest chance of someone passing by. Moreover, having left her backpack and with this__ – and it only now occurred to her - her cell phone in her lab as well, there was no doubt she would have to leave her car behind and walk. The storm was getting heavier, so she better should hurry up! Abby started out across the cemetery. That would shorten her way home tremendously._

_The rain was pouring down on her. An umbrella was useless by now, the storm to heavy to even think of trying to open it. The raindrops cut her skin, the wind __had driven the last remaining bit of warmth out of her body as soon as she had reached the entrance to the graveyard._

_**-x-**_

_Gibbs was toying with the idea of staying at NCIS headquarters that night. He could make himself comfortable__ in his office chair. He wanted to go through some files dealing with their latest case. Two files were missing. He remembered Abby had requested them this afternoon, so he went down to her lab to fetch them._

_The lab was lying in the dark. He switched the lights on and looked around, wondering where she could have put the files. Abby´s backpack was lying on the table in the middle of the room. Looking around the lab once more, he took out his cell phone. Lights had been off, coat wasn´t there. He dialed her number, not sure what made him do that. Abby would probably do without her bag one night or two._

_Abby´s cell went off in the backpack and he looked towards it. Sure. He could have known that. He tried her phone at home. No answer. She probably wasn´t home, yet. He flipped his cell shut and went over to the table. _

_There they were. The files he was looking for w__ere lying underneath Abby´s bag. _

_He put the bag aside with one hand and grabbed the files with the other. He let go of the bag ... and it fell to the floor, its contents now scattered everywhere as it obviously had not been closed. _

_Gibbs sighed and crouched down to collect Abby´s stuff and put it back into the bag. He wasn´t especially looking at what he __was grabbing from the floor, but he suddenly stopped his actions and looked at the item that he was holding in his hand. Squinting on the imprinted weekdays on its back, he figured that Abby most likely would not do without this today, let alone a whole weekend. _

_He once again tried to call her at home. She still didn´t answer the phone. _And even if,_ he pondered, _what should I tell her? Abs, you forgot your pill at the lab?_ Moreover that would still leave her at home and the pill at the lab. And he would not give her the idea to go out into that weather again. So Gibbs took the bag and set off to Abby´s place. _

_**-x-**_

_He__ saw the hazard warning light of the black hearse when he was only a few yards away from it. _

_"Abby!" he uttered worriedly. As he drove close, he could see Abby wasn´t in the car. She didn´t have her cell phone, so she hadn´t been able to call for help. He assumed, she most likely__ had__ headed home. _

Hopefully she has already reached her apartment by now_, Gibbs thought, as heavy hail drummed on the front window, blurring his view for the duration of quite some minutes. He drove more slowly to not risk missing her. The storm abated only the instant he reached her apartment. As he had not passed her, she had to already be at home._

_He jumped out of his car, ran over to the house and up the stairs to her apartment. The door was closed, no one answered the door bell. He dropped the backpack and just to make sure dialed her private number, being already on his way down the staircase again. _

_Being sure he had not missed her in the pouring rain, it dawned to him that she probably had taken a shortcut across the cemetery. He head-slapped himself for not having considered this possibility earlier. And if she had lost her way ... ?_

_Gibbs entered the street. He ran a hand over his face to get rid of the water that was dripping down into his eyes from his hair. Letting out a frustrated grunt he looked up and down the road, trying to figure out which of the two cemetery entrances in this street he should take. _

_He started off towards the entrance down the track. Just then, he saw a bent figure stepping out of said entrance, one hand pressed against the wall of the enclosure. She took one step, paused for several moments, then took another step to once again pause._

"_Abby!" Gibbs´ voice cut through the noise of the hail that had gotten heavier again. He sped off towards her and within a minute was at her side._

"_Abs!" Although raising his voice to its top, trying to battle the howling storm, only a weak, yet familiar sound reached her ear and the very instant he managed to get a firm grip on her, Abby collapsed against him. _

_To be continued... _


	3. Water

_**A/N:**_ Sorry, no hospital here, but a little more water will do, I think -- it´s a story, you know ;-)

**_Warning:__ adult themes, actually a really serious chapter full of tragedy, maybe not what you expect!! _**

_**  
**_

_**-xxx**__**-**_

**3.****Water**

_Gibbs immediately took over her weight. Wrapping one arm around her waist he made her look at him. __Abby was covered in mud. She obviously had fallen over at least once. With utter relief Gibbs saw that Abby hadn´t fainted when her knees had given way and he wouldn´t let her faint now. She looked at him with half closed eyes and smiled weakly as she recognized him. Between uncontrolled trembling her lips formed a silent ´Gibbs´._

"_Yeah, Abs, it´s me." Gibbs just stroke her hair once and kissed her on her forehead, not caring about the mud that now clung to him as well. Then he took her over to the house, making her walk or at least stay in an upright position, hoping she would not get unconscious on their way there._

_As soon as they reached her apartment he searched her coat pockets for her keys and took her inside. _

_Abby was shivering from cold, the chattering of her teeth painfully audible. There would have been no use wrapping her in a blanket. She was soaked to the skin and covered in mud. So there was only one thing he could think of._

_He took her over to her bathroom and started the shower__, bringing the temperature to a low, barely more than lukewarm level. _

"_Sorry Abs, I need to take your clothing off," he apologized, feeling a bit uncomfortable with this._

_Without ever letting go of her, he managed to __almost completely undress her and get out of most of his clothing as well. With great relief he noticed that she was almost able to stand on her own again and her grip on him wasn´t that weak either._

"_Okay, c´mere.__" Holding her tight, Gibbs stepped under the shower first, shielding Abby from the jet of water. He held her close, supporting her, talking to her constantly in a low, soothing voice while cautiously washing the dirt off her skin. Every now and then he carefully reached behind himself to raise the water temperature just a bit more._

_Slowly, her spirits returned. __In a low whispering voice he kept delivering soothing words into her ear, stroking her hair and kissing her temples._

_It took some time, but Abby started to more and more become aware of where she was and of what had happened. She wanted to know if she was at home and if he was angry about her having left the broken car behind and going out into the storm. _

"_I was already soaked to the skin when I had reached my car in the lot and then I found out that the heating didn´t work and...," she tried to explain._

"_Abs ... Abs!" __Gibbs made her look at him. "Abs, I´m not angry at you, okay? I was very ... very worried!" he told her, pulling her closer than she already were, stroking her hair and delivering another soft kiss to her temple._

_They__ started talking trivialities in a low and tender tone, the warming water comfortably raining down on them._

_A__s she gained back more and more strength, Abby eventually was able to stand on her own again. When she some when cuddled up to Gibbs by herself, the pleasantly warm water carried out everything else._

_Having Abby that close, when apart from her panties__ naked too, hadn´t been critical as long as he had been worrying so much about her. But now, as this turned into having a hot shower with a beautiful woman, he struggled to not loose his self control._

_There was no real starting point. _

_Abby started to run her fingers over hi__s skin, first respecting the frontiers given by his clothing – he had kept his shirt and boxers on – but then ignoring them as she started to nuzzled his collarbone, nibbling and kissing her way up to his lips._

_He didn´t resist. Couldn´t resist any longer as the drizzling warmth from above combined with the soft and beautiful body that was nestled up against him made his tense muscles relax and made him remember how much he missed this._

_Abby´s lips touched his. Once. Briefly. And very softly. Then she looked up, straight into his eyes, searching for signs of restraint or rejection. When she didn´t find any, but instead witnessed his walls tumble as he failed to hide his emotions, she brought her lips to his again, hovering only millimeters away from them to still give him the opportunity to end this here._

_They, however, both knew that it was too late by now. Not only had she become aware of his increasing breathing rate, she could also feel his desire against her hipbone before he allowed his hand -- that by now had only steadied her by being wrapped around her waist motionless -– to lightly travel over the skin in the small of her back._

_The kiss started off slowly, cautiously and __rather timidly. While the water kept pattering down on them at a steady temperature and intensity, their kissing became more and more heated and passionate and it didn´t take long until they both were completely naked. Swallowed moans and panting filled the shower as curious fingers were everywhere._

_She tasted like the first minutes of a __redemptive summer thunderstorm, long overdue at the end of a burning hot summer´s day. _

Rising wind carries in the ozone and other compounds formed by early flashes of lightning. The sharp, chlorous smell lingers in the air -- heavy, intoxicating -- and makes one feel dizzy. Then the first raindrops hit the ground. And where they fall down on the streets they immediately evaporate, carrying with them the odor of hot tar. The smell is everywhere. It claims your senses. You can´t escape it ...

_Abby turned in his embrace and he got his fingers interwoven with her hair, tugging it to her right, revealing her neck and he kissed and caressed the nape of her neck and her shoulders with passion that had been locked away a long time ago. Passion that he had long forgotten did exist. And she savored being touched by him everywhere and with her forearms she leaned against the cooling tiles on the wall, arching up to give him proper access to every inch of her naked skin._

... And you close your eyes and as if being in a state of intoxication you keep inhaling it -- just like the dried out soil desperately tries to soak up the rain it is yearning for for so long ...

"_Gibbs? I want to feel you inside me."_

"_Ye-ah... ."_

... But it´s dangerous out there in a thunderstorm ...

"_But I´m sorry, Abs. I can´t." _

... Thunder rolls in the distance, barely audible ...

"_Why?"_

... The rain keeps pouring down as you try to desperately inhale the vanishing scent that is washed away bit by bit ...

"_Haven´t got anything with me."_

... And only the crackling noise of crashing thunder in the immediate vicinity will make you wince ...

"_Doesn´t matter, Gibbs, I´m on the pill."_

... and makes you flee so to not being hit by a flash of lightning.

_Her words let his mind kick in __without warning. _

_With a noisy splash his open palms hit the tiles hard, one on each side of Abby´s head, spraying the water off the wall, his sudden and unexpected action being accompanied by a suffocated "Damn!"_

_Abby flinched. She was trapped between him and the wall. His panting__ echoed heavily in her ear, his face only an inch or two away._

_Gibbs´ head was spinning. What the hell was he doing?! This was Abby! A colleague. A friend. A dear friend. As long as he knew her -- and it had been quite some years now -- never ... never had he considered her being more, never had he seen her as a potential love-interest! And Abby knew and hadn´t been interested in it either. She nevertheless was constantly teasing him, yet only in a playful manner, because Abby being Abby meant she never not even __**tried**__ to hide her attitude towards sex from anyone._

_His heavy panting had eased off a bit; other things__ had not. Angry at himself because of having been overcome by his emotions, and being angry at Abby for what she just had offered, he wanted to know in a sharp loud voice, "How many?"_

_Abby, shocked about his reaction, didn´t know what he was getting at._

"_How many what?" The tone in her question showed how insecure she suddenly was._

_Gibbs tried to calm down. He regretted having yelled at her, but he was really angry. _

"_How many guys do you tell this, Abs? How many guys do you offer having unprotected...," he inhaled deeply. "God Abs, I really hope this is not a standard sentence of yours!"_

"_Actually I ... ." Her voice was low, but firm. "Only those whom I __... whom I know really ... really well. And I know you haven´t been with a woman in..."_

"_How many, Abs?" he insisted__, still in a harsh voice._

"_You are the first in two and a half years," Abby replied in all honesty. And now it was her turn to get angry, her voice getting louder as she spoke. "Honestly, Gibbs! Do you actually believe I am tired of living?! I even bring my own condoms! You can´t be too careful, you know! Sorry for upsetting you, Gibbs! There are lots of ´em around, so I could have easily..."_

"_Abs, I __am usually __**not**__ like this..." he interrupted her._

"_Like what?" Abby asked defiantly. She sighed with frustration, leaning her forehead against the wall._

"_Like ...__," he sighed. __"__My emotions ran wild. I ... didn´t mean to yell at you. I was just angry at myself because ...," Gibbs took a deep breath and exhaled audibly. "You know, Abs, I am not the wild, unrestrained and lust-driven kind of guy who loves to play little games. I am just the grumpy, bad-tempered, tough boss. When it comes to ..." his voice trailed off._

"_A__ rough exterior hides a heart of gold, huh?" Abby remarked after a moment of silence._

"_Yeah, maybe. I´m sorry, Abs," Gibbs said in a sad tone and fell silent again._

_An awkward silence claimed the shower cubicle, only the noise of the pattering water filled the air._

_Gibbs had become a victim of his own emotions. Parts of him, including that more or less dangerously stretched part of him, were still in contact with Abby´s body. Becoming aware of how damn good these past minutes had felt, he found he now somehow longed for it, but..._

_He should not have given in to that feeling which had overwhelmed him the moment she had started to cover his skin with sweet intoxicating kisses. That would have been less embarrassing than having to disappoint her now like that. _

_He wished he could once more touch her soft skin with his lips. Just once. But that__, he knew, was impossible._

"_Gibbs?" Abby´s voice dragged him out of his train of thoughts and he became aware that she was still kind of trap__ped between the wall and him. But he somehow wasn´t able to move._

"_Huh?" he managed to utter as his eyes focused on her, following her movements ._

_Abby tilted her head and looked back at him over her shoulder. One of her hands made its way over to where his was still flat against the tiles, his tension clearly visible. Her hand and forearm broke contact with the supporting wall as her hand cautiously traveled over his, her fingers gently tapping on the back of his hand._

"_Would you ... would you please be gentle?" she asked __and there was a note of fear in her voice as she spoke._

"_Abs, don´t make me ... there hasn´t anything happened by now that cannot be forgotten." His voice was rather soft now and full of regret._

_Abby__ slowly turned around, making him get his hands off the wall and he stepped back to make room for her to move. _

_Still the water k__ept drizzling down on them._

"_Don´t want to forget about this, Gibbs," Abby said, equally soft, and to show him she was truly serious about this she looked him straight in the eye. _

_When he did__n´t move, she leaned in to bring her lips into contact with his once again and Gibbs inwardly cursed himself for not being able to resist. He allowed her curious hands to touch him and after a while he timidly joined the cautious exploration of each other´s skin._

_**-xxxxxxx-**_

That had been more than two years ago now...

_To be continued..._

* * *

_  
_

_So, don´t hold back with __what you are thinking! Me, I need a hot shower now._


	4. That Night

_**A/N:**__ It´s good to see you are still curious. Let´s see, if I can add a bit to this. Remember? Abby and Gibbs had still been in the shower...and had once again started to explore each other´s skin._

_**-xxx**__**-**_

**4.****That Night**

Gibbs mind still is occupied by what else had happened that night and he remembers as if it had been yesterday...

_**-xxxxxxx-**_

_T__here was no haste, no hurry, no pressure. They had just continued their slow and relaxed kissing and stroking for half an eternity without restraint. To both their amazement they hadn´t made love that night._

_Abby was still shaky on her legs -- the kissing probably wasn´t without blame for this -- and their skin had become rather shriveled because of being in the shower for more than one hour now._

"_Come on, lets get outa here," Gibbs eventually suggested, allowing no discussion. He reached behind, stopped the water and wrapped Abby in a big towel. He took himself a small one, quickly dried his skin and turned his attention back to Abby._

"_By the way," Gibbs whispered in __her ear, while gently rubbing Abby dry. "That pill-thing actually is the reason why I came over."_

_Abby didn´t understand and threw him a surprised look. And Gibbs told her -- not without a certain amount of embarrassment -- what had happened to him down in Abby´s lab. _

_Abby just grinned at him, telling him, "Gibbs, has someone ever told you how cute you are when you feel awkward about something?" _

_And between more leisure kissing she explained him that with the pill it was about the same as with the condoms. He would at least find one __more packet at her place... . And to prove it, she reached into a nearby drawer ... _

_Gibbs pinched his lips, while Abby just grinned and leaned against him. _

"_But thanks," she said in a soft voice, showing she was pretty tired and her eyes threatened to fall close at any moment._

_Gibbs told her to lay her arms around his neck and carried her over to her bed. He got her __-- still wrapped in her towel -- under her blanket and as she wouldn´t let go of him he laid down beside her, very close, face to face, wrapping his arms around her._

_Abby looked at him__ wearily, as the cozy atmosphere she now was in, let exhaustion finally show its effects on her._

_Gibbs gave her a warm smile and stroke her hair. _

"_It´s okay, I´m here Abs. I won´t leave," he said very tenderly, and he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, his lips afterwards keeping in touch with her skin, while he listened to her breathing that became more and more regular and deeper, along with some slight twitching, indicating she was drifting off to sleep._

_He couldn´t remember, but he must have __fallen asleep as well. And it had been a restful sleep, no tossing and turning, no being haunted by tormenting thoughts. When he next woke up, daylight filled Abby´s bedroom and the storm obviously had subsided._

_When Abby woke up about half an hour later, she looked into a pair of sparkling blue eyes. But not only his eyes were smiling. A dreamy smile on Gibbs´ lips turned his face into one of the softest expressions that she had ever seen him show._

"_You are still here," Abby said and it sounded more like a fact rather than a question._

"_So I promised before you fell asleep," Gibbs replied. _

_Hesitantly his left hand traveled over to where Abby´s right was lying palm down on the mattress in front of her face. His fingers climbed upon her hand and he started to gently caress it._

"_Never would have believed that," Abby told him. _

_He would not have believed that either. _

"_Apart from that," he said, "My underwear and shirt are still ... wet from... our shower... ."_

_Abby smiled, her mind wandering back to the previous evening._

"_Meaning?" she asked him._

_Gibbs didn´t answer her question, he just kept looking and smiling at her until eventually after minutes__ he took his hand away from hers to carefully pick up the wisp of hair that had slowly started to and finally completely fallen in her face, and he did guide it back behind her ear._

"_How are you?" he wanted to know, letting his fingers shyly run through her hair._

"_Still not feeling sorry," Abby admitted. "Are you?"_

_Gibbs´ hand continued to caress her cheek. His lips formed a ´No´, but no sound was leaving them, at least not until he had cleared his throat and in a husky voice repeated, "No."_

_Abby cautiously brought her hand to his face and she let her fingers touch his lips. _

_No further words were spoken within the next hour, during which they leisurely let their fingers travel over the other one´s face, neck, shoulders, arms and upper body. __Like the evening before, there were no hectic movements, no haste. Just tenderness. And they never took their eyes off one another._

_Abby finally decided to move a bit closer and kiss him on his lips. Briefly at first, but then it was him who complained about her breaking the kiss and with a little moan and he followed her __to continue the kiss __when she was drawing __back __her head._

_While sharing this sweet and soft kiss, they continued their caressing and this time their hands moved forward to lower body regions. Some wordless and nonplatonical minutes later Abby suddenly presented a wrap, accompanied by a grin on her face._

"_I told you, they are everywhere," she whispered._

_Gibbs nodded and reached out for the wrap. But Abby draw her hand back and giggled._

"_My pleasure," she remarked and started to unwrap the condom._

_With that offer__ she wanted to support what she had told Gibbs the previous evening. And for Gibbs now accepting it meant showing her that he trusted her._

_The tingling sensation that was caused by Abby´s fingernails traveling up his belly and chest made him gasp and only seconds after her hands had moved to his neck to draw him close and whisper in his ear__ he rolled on top of her._

_He gently entered her. They kept looking into each other´s eyes as he started to __slowly move inside her. She wrapped one leg around his, her foot and ankle stroking up and down his calf. _

_Almost noiseless they shared that __loving tenderness._

_He watched her eyes slip shut as she arched against him, pressing her head into the pillow. He let his head drop to the nape of her neck, kissing and nibbling her gently there, waiting for her waves of passion to ease up. Only when she hummed lowly in his ear and ran her fingertips over his back he let go himself, burying his face even deeper in her neck._

_Afterwards h__e laid down beside her and pulled her close and they shared another hour of tender closeness, Abby´s head resting on his chest, her fingers running through his chest hair and him stroking her hair and every now and then placing a kiss on top of her head._

_They had breakfast together, well after noon and Gibbs took care of her car before leaving._

_There had been no expectations, no promises, no feeling sorry._

_**-xxxxxxx-**_

As mentioned before, that had happened more than two years ago.

In only one minute´s time these memories are washing through Gibbs´ mind while he gently squeezes Abby´s shoulder.

The ringing of his cell phone drags Gibbs out of his thoughts. Seeing the caller´s ID he decides this has to wait and he puts his cell down on the kitchen table.

Abby is more important now.

Gibbs crouches down beside her.

Abby is trembling. Laying one hand on her knee and gently rubbing her arm with his other he still kind of absent-minded starts to talk.

"Abs, who...," Gibbs inhales deeply, but he immediately pauses in the middle of this action.

Luckily the words, "...do you have an idea of who...?" do not make it over his lips.

Actually it is the most stupidest question he can think of asking Abby in her present state of mind. He has absolutely no right to put this question. Besides the fact that she isn´t a hundred percent sure by now, she probably doesn´t want him to know.

The incessant ringing of Gibbs´ cell doesn´t get anyone´s attention.

_**-x-**_

In the squad room Tony throws McGee a worried look.

"He doesn´t answer his phone," Tony explains.

McGee just gives a silent nod and starts typing away at his computer.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_What happens next? Will Abby open up? Stay curious! And don´t forget to leave a review because I am curious as well __;-)_


	5. Changes

**5.**** Changes**

Although he hasn´t really put the question, Abby has completely understood what Gibbs has just wanted to ask. If she weren´t that agitated and scared, she might actually have teased him about his uncertain behavior.

Abby instead decides to give him an answer. An answer that -- in all its honesty -- takes him by surprise.

To be honest, Gibbs is expecting something like "Gibbs, you are the only one I sleep with without using a condom."

He knows Abby would have told him if that had changed.

Or he even would not be surprised if she tells him, "We´ve spent almost every available minute together these past weeks, so I haven´t had the opportunity to... ."

But he definitely does not expect an answer like the one he is given by her now.

"I haven´t made love to anyone else than you these past two years, Gibbs ... ," Abby tells him and her voice trails off, while she stiffens slightly in anticipation of his reaction to her confession.

She doesn´t dare look at him.

_**-**__**xxxxxxx-**_

_There had been no expectations, no promises, no feeling sorry._

_Their professional relationship hadn´t been affected by that incident at all. -- No expectations. No promises._

_Their private lives? Nearly not affected. -- No feeling sorry._

_They did not start dating or something like that. Yet, they happened to ´come together´ occasionally. Not on a regular basis and never really intentionally. _

_They never__ asked for spending a night together. _

_But as they were both very good investigators when it came to hidden emotions, they sensed when the other one was i__n need of warmth and tenderness or of being held close. Making love wasn´t necessarily a result of that, but when it happened, then it always was predominated by empathy, loveliness and tenderness._

_**-x-**_

_A few months after that storm__ more than two years ago, Gibbs had been to Abby´s lab to find she wouldn´t look at him. Always had she turned away and had avoided his gaze. But he finally had succeeded in outsmarting her and he found himself looking into a pair of red-rimmed eyes that gave away she must have shed a lot of tears._

"_Abs," he had been shocked and the words almost got stuck in his throat._

"_Abs, what happened?" he wanted to know, while rushing over to her to take her in an embrace._

"_You don´t want to know," Abby had told him, eyes downcast and not returning his embrace. She didn´t fight it either, though. And she knew she had already given away what was bothering her by her choice of words. _

"_Who did that to you, Abs? Give me his name, he will never be able to...," his voice was calm, but he was about to get furious. He knew, some guy must have made her cry._

"_No, Gibbs, I won´t tell you. Because, it´s not _his_ fault, you know?" Abby tried to reassure him._

_How on earth should Gibbs have known that she had been crying because of him? No, not really because of him. He hadn´t done anything wrong. He wasn´t to blame for this. Abby had not immediately realized that she had started to behave differently. She still went out and enjoyed herself, but she never took anyone home with again. _

_Between her and __Gibbs, that wasn´t about love, but that nights had changed her needs and realizing this had made her cry all night and she had promised to herself to never let him know._

_**-x-**_

_Until five weeks ago, __usually weeks, sometimes even more than one month passed before the two of them spent another night together._

_Then, a__bout five weeks ago, Gibbs had left work late in the evening and had seen the lights had still been on in Abby´s lab. Thus he had returned to check if everything was alright. Maybe Abby just had forgotten to turn the lights off. _

_But he needed to make sure, because when he had seen her earlier that afternoon, Abby had looked rather pale. Paler than usual. She, however, had insisted on being fine._

"_Abs?" he had asked on entering the lab and he immediately saw her bent over her microscope._

"_Hey Gibbs, what are you still doing here?" She slurred -- and she sounded tired._

"_Me? What about you?" Gibbs returned the question._

"_Not done yet, Gibbs. Have to catch up with lots of evidences." _

_There always was lots to do for Abby as she __persistently refused to have an assistant. And normally Abby was working hard and fast, but on that day, work seemed to only get more and more and she was toying with the idea to come in that weekend as well._

_Gibbs approached her and started to massage her shoulders. She looked up and he saw the forced expression on her face. And she had difficulties to keep her eyes open._

"_Go home, Abs. You seem to not be up to pull an all-nighter," he told her in a soft voice and he leaned in to kiss her on her cheek. _

_Her flushed cheeks and her forehead were warm to his touch._

"_Come on, I´ll give you a lift," he offered when Abby weakly shook her head. Noticing she was rapidly running out of energy, he had simply grabbed her stuff and dragged her with him._

_Abby had fallen asleep almost instantly when he had put her into the passenger seat of his car._

_He took her to his place, wrapped her into his blanket and some time later -- leaving the door ajar -- went to his basement to work on his boat. _

_The weekend was free and he would not have to bother about the next morning._

_Every now and then he had looked after her and he soon had noticed she was tossing and turning, being tormented by fevered dreams. Gibbs had started to run a cooling flannel over her face and stayed at her side. He had even fallen asleep beside her for some hours as well, but he had gotten up in the morning when finding her sleeping peacefully._

_Abby had slept well into the day and when she had woken up, she had immediately become aware of being at Gibbs__´ place. She stood up and made her way towards the kitchen. _

_She poured herself a mug of coffee, took a sip -- and drew a face. This probably had been standing here for too many hours. She decided to make some fresh coffee. She couldn´t help but smile as she thought of the grumpy Gibbs who always needed fresh hot coffee at work, but at home he was content with just lukewarm coffee, fresh or not._

_Two mugs of hot and fresh coffee in hand, Abby went down to the basement, where she knew she would find Gibbs working on his boat._

"_Abby!" he exclaimed upon seeing her._

_She handed him one mug._

"_I´m fine, Gibbs," she tried to reassure him when she noticed the faint hint of worry in his voice._

"_But you won´t be long that way! Barefoot and only with a shirt on! Gimme your coffee," he demanded._

_Abby handed him her mug with a questioning look. _

_He put both the mugs down and before Abby realized what was happening, he had taken her in his arms and carried her back to his bed. _

_He__put her down in a sitting position, leaning against the headboard, pillows comfortably placed in her back. Then he wrapped the blanket around her, tucking it under her._

"_Don´t leave," he admonished her playfully, before hurrying back down to his basement to get the coffee._

_And after taking off his pants, he had joined her. _

_Two wond__erful hours later, Abby had fallen asleep in his arms, exhausted. Gibbs had stroked her hair and with pretty much concern he had become aware that she was getting feverish again. In the evening Abby was suffering from a violent shivering fit and it turned out she had come down with the flu._

_Gibbs__ had taken care of her. Abby had spent the next two and a half weeks at his place. Nobody had wondered about that, though, because Gibbs always took care of Abby. There hadn´t been anything unusual about this for anyone._

_But for Abby and Gibbs something was about to change. Even after Abby had moved back to her place afterwards, they spent much more time together than before. _

_**-**__**xxxxxxx-**_

And now, another three weeks later, Gibbs has worried, she is getting ill again. And that it might be worse this time.

Instead, he now is facing an Abby who is worried of being pregnant. And he has just learned, that he is the only one whom Abby has been with in more than two years.

He puts two fingers under Abby´s chin and very gently tilts up her head. But Abby only briefly looks at him and immediately avoids his gaze again.

"Why, Abs, why haven´t you told me you are not meeting with other guys anymore?" Gibbs wants to know in a low affectionate tone, when her words have registered in his mind.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_  
_

_Don´t miss the __next chapter -- which will be the last as well -- in which one will put a painful question. What will the other one´s reaction be like??_


	6. I Don't Regret a Thing

_**A/N: Here´s the final chapter. The**__** pregnancy test still has to be done. The outcome makes one put a question that might hurt the other. In addition to that, Abby and Gibbs are interrupted by intruders...**_

_**----- **_

**6. I ****Don´t Regret a Thing**

Abby doesn´t need to think about an answer. She tells him what has made her hide this from him for so long.

"Because you would have walked, Gibbs. Okay, we haven´t been together then, so to speak, and we still aren´t. But I realized that all that other stuff didn´t mean anything to me, because it didn´t make me feel happy. You did! And although it didn´t happen very often, it made me happy and was all that I needed."

Abby tries to turn her face away from him.

Her confession makes Gibbs´ heart wrench and he lets go of her chin. He hesitantly takes the pregnancy test in his hand and takes a deep breath.

"So we need to make sure, Abs," Gibbs sighs and he again brings one hand to Abby´s chin to tilt her head up and make her look at him again.

She lets him turn her face towards him, but she avoids his gaze.

"But beforehand, I should tell you something," Gibbs tells her and he waits for her to look at him before he continues. "I will always be there for you, Abs, whichsoever way this test turns out."

Abby manages a weak smile as she nods.

"I know, Gibbs," she whispers, fighting back the tears that are welling in her eyes. Yes, Gibbs has always been there for her, even before they had slithered into this odd relationship.

"Abs," Gibbs continues and he sounds very serious. "I want you to know that I don´t regret a single thing that has happened between us these past two years. Not one, Abs. I think you should know that, too."

Abby nods and in a shaky voice she whispers, "Me, too, Gibbs. I don´t regret it as well."

Gibbs leans in to ever so softly let his lips briefly touch hers. Then he takes her in his arms and he soothingly strokes her hair.

Some moments later, Gibbs carefully breaks the embrace and takes Abby´s hand in his. Leaning back he looks at her.

"Come on, Abs, let´s get this over with." He takes a scared Abby with him and a few minutes later, they are standing in Abby´s bathroom. The door to her bedroom is ajar.

Gibbs´ cell phone, which is still lying on the kitchen table starts ringing again, but noone pays attention.

Abby has her face burrowed in Gibbs´ chest and he holds her close. One hand is resting on the small of her back, the other is stroking her hair. Gibbs has his chin propped up on Abby´s head. While gently rocking her, his gaze is resting on the test, which is lying on the storage tray above the basin, practically invisible between Abby´s cosmetics.

"Abs," Gibbs eventually whispers and he places a soft kiss on her head. She presses herself closer against him and he feels her tense up. "Abs, test says, you are not pregnant."

He feels her relax again. Then she seems to stop breathing and a moment later a low sob reaches Gibbs´ ear. He is slightly puzzled by her reaction.

"Shh...," Gibbs soothes her and when the sobbing subsides he asks her, "Abs, how do you feel?"

"Don´t know, Gibbs," she replies truthfully. "Relieved ... ? But that´s not the whole truth. Partly I do feel sad as well."

Yes, Gibbs thinks he knows what she is talking about.

"Why?" he wants to know nevertheless.

"Because," Abby mumbles to his chest, "I think I now know for sure that I want to have children of my own one day."

"Mmm-hmm," Gibbs replies -- or has he just cleared his throat?

"Sorry to say that, Gibbs," Abby apologizes.

Some silent moments follow before Abby looks up at him and dares to ask, "What about you, Gibbs? Have you ever thought about having children?"

Abby recognizes the faint twitching in the corner of his left eye and she softly continues, "I mean, again? Despite of what happened to Shannon and Kelly?"

Abby keeps looking at him.

Gibbs´ gaze is fixed. He seems to stare at his image in the bathroom-mirror, but his focus is on something far, far away.

His vision becomes blurred as memories and voices that belong to a time more than 20 years ago waft in. He remembers carrying Kelly in his arms when she had been a baby and he hears her gurgle with pleasure. And he hears Kelly giggling and he hears her laughter. And in his mind´s eye he sees her sparkling eyes, her smile and her joy as well as he remembers her crying and being sad.

One single tear silently runs down his cheek.

Abby lowers her head to once again burrow her face in his chest. She knows, her question must have hurt him to the core. Yet, she _had_ to ask.

Right then, stomping and tramping is coming from the corridor, accompanied by worried shouting.

"Abby?! Boss?!"

All of a sudden, Tony and McGee burst into Abby´s bedroom and on seeing the both of them standing in a tight embrace in Abby´s bathroom they come to an abrupt halt.

Abby has jerked slightly on hearing them, but she doesn´t move.

Still being overwhelmed by his memories, Gibbs doesn´t have the energy to react like he usually would. Thus, he only turns his head to look at the intruders.

Both Tony and McGee swallow hard upon the pained expression on Gibbs´ face.

Tony is the first to gather his courage and he stammers, "Boss, we ... you ... you didn´t..."

"... answer your phone ... and we ...," McGee takes over instantly.

"... McGee tracked your cell ...," Tony continues.

"... Thought, something might have happened... ," the two of them finish in unison.

Gibbs still doesn´t say a word, he just continues to stare at them, his look getting more and more threatening.

"The door was ... ajar," McGee eventually adds as he fears Gibbs might have expected them to at least knock or use the door-bell before entering Abby´s apartment.

"So ... so you are ... you are okay then?" McGee continues to stammer, his tone showing slight embarrassment, while Tony lets his gaze wander around Abby´s bedroom.

Tony is taken by surprise to find a simple king-sized bed standing in Abby´s bedroom. In the far corner next to the closet there is a black 'box', covered with something that resembles a large table cloth and he assumes this has to be Abby´s coffin.

"Yeah, ... yeah we are ... we are okay." Gibbs speaks in measured tones and his face suddenly is relaxing.

"Just ...," Gibbs continues and he pauses briefly again, carefully choosing his next words. "Just some ... bad news." He gently rubs Abby´s back and slightly hugs her closer.

"Eh ..."

"Ehm..."

The unfamiliar softness in Gibbs´ voice leaves Tony and McGee speechless. Being at a loss for words, they just keep staring at Gibbs and Abby.

"DiNozzo! McGee! Haven´t you two got work to do?" Gibbs eventually manages to pull himself out of his dazed state and he raises his voice, making his two agents turn and rush away.

_**-x-**_

"Bad news ...? Bad news ...?" On their way back to the car Tony is brooding over Gibbs´ words.

"What is it, Tony?" McGee wants to know and he sounds pretty annoyed.

"Probie, do you think Abby could be pregnant?" Tony suddenly stops as he delivers his flash of inspiration.

"Tony, being pregnant isn´t bad news!" McGee replies.

"Well, for Abby it would be ... I think! Listen, McGee, should Abby ever be pregnant and doesn´t call it _'bad news'_ at some point, I´ll pay you a hundred bucks."

McGee rolls his eyes. He is pretty embarrassed that this obviously hadn´t been an emergency but something private. And Tony´s childish behavior is bugging him. Thus McGee decides to mock at Tony as well.

"Yeah, Tony, Abby is pregnant and Gibbs is the father."

"Ha! Haha! Ha!" Tony laughs at McGee´s comment, pointing his forefinger at him. "Good joke, Probie. Gibbs and Abby? Ha! I´ll pay you another hundred bucks, should this ever happen! Honestly, Probie! Can you imagine Gibbs being tied to Abby´s bed or her coffin? That was her coffin in that corner, wasn´t it?"

"Umm...," McGee just utters, deciding to not process the image Tony has just implied.

_**-x-**_

Up in Abby´s bathroom Gibbs continues to rub Abby´s back and he once again kisses her on her head.

Abby lifts her head to look at him, a questioning expression settling on her face.

"Abs, I want you to go see your doctor to make sure you are really okay," he tells her -- concern showing in his voice.

Showing no reaction to his request, Abby keeps searching his eyes and face for an answer to something else.

"Bad news?" she wonders.

Gibbs holds her gaze and a smile appears on his face. He takes a wisp of her tousled hair in his fingers and gently strokes it back, his hand coming to rest at her neck before he brings his lips to her ear.

Although noone is around to listen to what he tells her, he only whispers his next words.

"... because," Gibbs adds aloud and he leans back to look at Abby again. A smile has settled on her face, and savoring that smile he reaffirms "as I told you before, Abs: I don´t regret a thing!"

_**-THE END-**_

_**(Or not?)**_

* * *

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. (If so, I´d be happy to hear from you.)_

_And I left a small question mark at the end, because there might be a chance of my writing a sequel..._


	7. Sequels

I am here going to give you a list of which stories are attached to this one. **Bold type** titles are online.

_**-x-**_

**Safe Places:** 4-5 months later : Jenny finds out about Abby and Gibbs being together

**Déjà Vu****:** another 4 months later: Things seem to repeat themselves when Gibbs once again wants to know, "Where is Abby?"

**When Abby Was On Strike** - tag to "Safe Places"

**"No-Regret" - Oneshots collection:** Collection of scenarios during Abby´s pregnancy

PLANNED: „Melissa" (writing title). Preview: Not good, he thought. So damn not good! Then the world around him started to spin. He hit the ground hard as all-consuming darkness engulfed him ... A story about love and grief, a crime, a drama and a few flashbacks ...

_**-x-**_


End file.
